Motorized Smart Umbrella Will Make You Want To Break The Internet

Web developers love/hate the Internet as much as anyone (whose livelihood depends on it), but sometimes the Internet just goes too far, even for website designers. Case in point: Taiwanese startup HAZ Digital finally invented the “smart umbrella” you never even knew you wanted (probably because you don’t want it). The HAZ Umbrella is the world’s first Internet-connected umbrella, and it comes with a smartphone app that sends the consumer weather updates. Plus, there’s a GPS tracking app in case you lose your cool new smart umbrella and need to find it.

“It’s time to be hip,” says the company’s IndieGoGo page. “Be HAZ.”

HAZ says their umbrella was made for the gadget enthusiast, the kind of consumer who expounds on “the Internet of things” at dinner parties.

“In an internet-connected era, it’s only natural that your umbrella do the same. Get connected with the world’s first automatic smart umbrella: HAZ.”

We’re not sure what HAZ Digital thinks the word “natural” means, and did umbrellas really need to be disrupted? But wait, there’s more!

The hip HAZ automatic Internet-connected smart umbrella doesn’t just allow your smartphone to receive minute-by-minute weather updates from your umbrella, the HAZ umbrella also contains a motor so that you never again have to waste a valuable half-second opening an umbrella.

“The HAZ team identified that opening and closing a traditional umbrella can be a hassle. The HAZ Umbrella is fitted with a motor that opens and closes the umbrella automatically at the push of a button. The motor is powered by a rechargeable lithium ion battery which HAZ says is good for 150 open/close cycles per charge.”

In 2014, 64% of U.S. adults owned a smartphone, and 34% of them accessed the Internet primarily through those phones. HAZ is betting that smartphones just aren’t enough for some gadget-happy consumers. After all, what’s the point of an umbrella that doesn’t even come with web services? What’s next, a toaster that doesn’t even provide social media marketing?

Maybe you’re thinking, why would I need an umbrella that sends my smartphone weather updates when my smartphone already provides weather updates? Shouldn’t one of the web developers at HAZ realized that before they designed a smart umbrella? Don’t ask questions. And don’t be like the 61% of worldwide consumers who research products online before trying them IRL. Just go buy your smart umbrella and be grateful.