NOTE
This article is entirely a satire. The author is an Ex-Muslim, living in a predominantly Muslim nation, with a deep understanding of Islam and the mindset of Muslims. The article is meant for those who want to understand why (some) Muslims strap bomb around their chest and blow themselves up. However, the message conveyed through this article does not represent all Muslims, but only the tiny minority vast majority.

This is the age of the rebirth of the one true faith, Islam. We are grateful to all mighty Allah for letting us live our insignificant lives during this blessed day and age. Islam has finally reached all frontiers of the world and blessed Muslims are inviting more and more unbelievers into the Ummah by the day through campaigns of Da’wa (invitation). With the will of Allah, Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world. More and more people are observing the Islamic dress code, as ordered by the all-mighty. May Allah give peace to those who are obedient.

Today, Islam is on the rise in Turkey and with the will of Allah– the Turks will finally find their way back to Islam and return to the caliphate, ditching the cursed ideology of the apostate Kemal Ataturk. With the accession of Turkey into the Kaffir controlled European Union, the obedient Muslims will have the chance to migrate to the west and eventually outnumber the Infidels. Surely Allah will grant this wish of the obedient believers. We shall have the lands of Spain under Muslim control once again, if Allah wishes.

In the blessed lands of Pakistan, the Infidel-powered government is tottering and surely will fail. With the growing number of the Taliban, the students of the Islamic schools of jurisprudence, we shall oust the “democracy” by the cursed unbelievers and apply the rule of law that shall rule all of humanity one day, the Shari’ah. Surely, there is no law but the law of Allah.

May Allah remove all unbelievers from power so that all human-made law can be destroyed. Only then humanity shall be free from injustice. Only the law sanctioned by Allah through the Prophet (pbuh), the Shari’ah, is just and fair. Surely Allah knows what is best for mankind.

In this day and age, the unbelievers are trying hard to prevent Islam and to apply their own law which they call “democracy”. They want to impose their damned “human rights” on Muslims. They say it gives people “freedom” and justice. Oh! How ignorant they are! They do not know Muslims don’t want their democracy because they have something superior, the Shari’ah. Muslims do not want Human Rights as the rights provided to people by Allah in the Qur’an and the Sunnah are sufficient. Muslims do not want Freedom, as being Muslim is freedom enough.

The unbelievers are suppressing the voice of Muslims all over the world. This week, a few young believers settled in Infidel land, Britain, were sent to prison for being Muslim. All they wanted to do was to perform the holy duty of jihad against the unbelievers. They were understandably angry and frustrated because of all the injustices done against Muslims all over the world. Surely, they are not criminals.

The unbelievers are destroying our infrastructure, raping our women and taking away our food. They have destroyed the blessed Taliban in Afghanistan and set up an apostate government that impose the western “democracy” in Muslims lands. But with the help of the Mujahedeen camps in Pakistan, the Taliban are making a comeback. Our fighters from the Islamic Emirate of Waziristan are slowly re-capturing Afghanistan and fighting the Infidels off our lands. Surely, they will be victorious and the Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan shall be restored.

In Iraq, we are ever so close to victory. There are martyrdom attacks everyday killing the occupiers and those to support the government that is backed by the enemy. May Allah give the pleasure of heaven to those who die in the fight for Islam, as promised. The Mujahedeen are doing an excellent job in Iraq and soon we shall drive the enemy off the Muslim land. The morale of the enemy is weakening as we can see that the all-mighty Allah has done miracles to make the Infidels vote for those who oppose the war in enemy lands. Soon, the enemy will back off and the Muslims in Iraq shall be free. May Allah give Muslim the spirit to establish The Islamic State of Iraq, separate from the Kurds in the North and the dirty Shiites who have gone astray.

How dare the Infidel powers suppress Muslims in their own lands — in Iraq, in Afghanistan, in Chechnya, in Palestine and elsewhere? They are ignorant and foolish. They do not know that Muslims are to dominate and must not be dominated. They know not — that Islam will take over the world.

With the growing numbers of Muslims, we are able to deter the enemy everywhere. The Muslims are winning everywhere in the world, wherever they are under occupation and being suppressed. With a growing number of reverts and proper observers, we are finally moving towards true Islam, as sent by Allah through his favorite prophet, Muhammed (pbuh). With the will of Allah, Muslims will be victorious everywhere and Islam shall be dominant once again.