It reads like the sponsorship for the World Cup of Soccer. One might expect such an all-star list of wealthy companies to be already so well entrenched in their respective markets that they might consider the prospect of simply donating their money to needy charities. But then, how could they make a buck off of a debilitating disease that claims 2 million people in Africa per year? The gimmick for the AIDS (and other afflictions) fund-raising event headed by musical showboat, Bono, is to offer products coloured in bright red, the same colour as the official AIDS ribbon. Some proceeds for the sale will go to AIDS, Tuberculosis, and Malaria research, or fighting AIDS, or AIDS orphans, or something like that… but enough about that nonsense, what delightful products can we spend our paycheques on?
Well, the 4 gig iPod Nano is selling for $199 USD with a WHOPPING 10 bucks going to fighting AIDS! Hooray! Next up is some white Converse with a red interior (oooh-la-la). There are Georgio Armani clothing and accessories, because you know, nothing says “I care about AIDS orphans in Africa” like wearing Armani. Clothing and accessories from GAP; A red AMEX card; A red Motorola RAZR, stylish as you gossip about how caring you are about AIDS on your credit-card-thin cell whilst manouevering one-handed through downtown traffic.
The precedent has been set. Now it is only a matter of time before we get a pink iPod for Breast Cancer. I think everyone will sleep much easier knowing that Apple is sending 5% of their promotional iPod sales to Africa, a special kind of sacrifice for a cash-stricken company. But how can we exploit similar type charities in order to “ching, ching, ching” our way into a trillion dollar industry? I can see it now: buy a Lambourghini for $300,000 and we’ll donate $5,000 to cancer research! Get Air Miles Reward Points for donating to Cystic Fibrosis! Let’s all jump on the corporate bandwagon and make a huge multi-platinum music CD featuring Beyonce and Kayne West to promote AIDS awareness!
Which reminds me…
Kent Brockman: So Krusty, what are you going to do with all the royalties?
Krusty the Klown: Well, first we have to pay for promotion, distribution, hey those limos out front aren’t free you know! Hu-ha-ha-ha! And then whatever’s left over, we’ll throw down the well.
