Most would rather make jokes about cancer

Author Kola Boof’s accusation that Osama Bin Laden was consumed by lust for pop singer Whitney Houston has not produced the comic tidal wave her publisher hoped for, according to insiders.

“We can’t understand it,??? one of Boof’s promotional team confided to us recently, “no one’s riding this pony. It has all the right ingredients – mass murder, interracial sex, self-obsessive personality disorders and virulent substance abuse – but for some reason no one is wringing any laughs out of it.???

In a telephone interview, Boof expressed deep disappointment that her autobiography was being short-changed by the nation’s print and broadcast comedians. “It really isn’t fair,??? she said. “I have made sensational unsubstantiated accusations of sexual and cultural deviancy on the part of the most dangerous and revered religious criminal in the world. All Britney Spears did was marry Kevin Federline. How come she still gets all the attention????

Benny Hecklerman, a local comic, told us that Boof, a Sudanese activist, doesn’t appreciate the practical constraints of the American humor marketplace. “Cannibalism, venereal disease, genocide, priests raping altar boys – you can suck massive yucks out of comic material like that,??? he said, “but Bin Laden going wet and giddy over Whitney Houston? You think that’s funny? I don’t. You could find more laughs in a bucket of stale puke.???

Boof claimed that widespread public disgust with her unverifiable allegations is actually an example of rampant ethnic profiling. “They call my story trash only because Muslims are involved,??? Boof insisted. “If I claimed that Tony Blair had made me his sex slave, I’d be on the best seller list forever.???

In other news, Paris Hilton announced that she had sexual relations with Osama Bin Laden several times, but no videos were made because of insufficient light inside their Tora Bora cave. “He smelled like a camel,??? Miss Hilton told a mob of reporters and photographers at her daily media session. “He felt like a camel, too,??? she said.

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Richard Galli
The Galli Report
better than news any day
http://www.gallireport.com

The NY Times is reporting that evolutionary biology is no longer listed as a field of study for those students seeking federal education grants. While the official line is that the omission is unintentional the fact that it is missing raises some questions particularly given that the listing of acceptable majors is a “mechanical process”:

The list of eligible majors (which is online at ifap.ed.gov/dpcletters/attachments/GEN0606A.pdf) is drawn from the Education Department’s “Classification of Instructional Programs,??? or CIP (pronounced “sip???), a voluminous and detailed classification of courses of study, arranged in a numbered system of sections and subsections.

Mr. Nassirian said people at the Education Department had described the omission as “a clerical mistake.??? But it is “odd,??? he said, because applying the subject codes “is a fairly mechanical task. It is not supposed to be the subject of any kind of deliberation.???

I’m going to side with the doubters that this is a purely clerical error since the current administration has a tendency towards sanitizing and scrubbing public materials.

Dr. Krauss said: “Removing that one major is not going to make the nation stupid, but if this really was removed, specifically removed, then I see it as part of a pattern to put ideology over knowledge. And, especially in the Department of Education, that should be abhorred.???

Gives me the warm and fuzzies.