thoughtmechanics

“I have a Thinkpad now,??? confident Vietnam warrior assures skeptics

George Bush informed Donald Rumsfeld yesterday that one of his resignation letters had been discovered under a pile of unread security briefings, and the President had belatedly accepted it.

“Resigning was the right thing to do when Secretary Rumsfeld wrote that letter,??? Bush said at a morning press conference, “and it’s still the right thing to do two years later, when it came to my attention. Now he’ll be able to spend some extra time with his family, which apparently is the only reason why he has ever thought about leaving.???

To replace Rumsfeld, Bush has called on Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense in the Kennedy and Johnson administrations, and principal architect of the Vietnam War.

“No one is more familiar with what we have been trying to accomplish in Iraq,??? Bush explained to an unusually disoriented White House press corps.

Immediately after leaving the microphone a highly-placed administration source, speaking on condition of anonymity to someone he thought was a Fox News reporter, said it was unfortunate that Rumsfeld would have to be replaced by McNamara at such a critical juncture but “there’s no other way we can think of to blame at least part of this mess on a Democrat before the mid-term elections.???

In a statement released shortly after the press conference, Robert McNamara said he will be honored to answer his country’s call to service once again. “I have spent the last 30 years of my life educating the American people about the War in Vietnam without ever being held accountable for it,??? McNamara said. “I have the experience and the skill set that the White House desperately needs right now.???

In other news, Osama Bin Laden announced that he was changing his name to Ho Chi Laden.

Richard Galli
The Galli Report
http://www.gallireport.com

This week’s episode of the Democratic Underground’s Top Ten Conservative Idiots is a must read. I’m going to just come out with it–Bill O’Reilly is a magnificent ass. It’s not that I don’t like Bill, Rush or Ann (they are all entertaining in a low-rent, daytime television kind of way) but they are so maladroit. I can’t help but think about the millions of idiots who ride along listening to these shows and dumbing themselves down (not that reading this blog will make anyone into a Rhode Scholar, but I digress).

In this week’s issue O’Reilly proves that he’s insane, Rick Santorum and Pete Hoekstra find those missing WMDs (lol), Dennis Hastert builds his own private “prairie,” the Bush administration is fear mongering again, Don Goldwater wants to build labor camps for illegals (yes, you read that correctly) and Rush teaches us about the left’s “doctrine of infallibility.”

Yes, Limbaugh and Coulter are all sorts of worried that attacking disabled veterans or family members who’ve lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks or in the Iraq war will make them look unpatriotic or iniquitous. Trust me Rush and Ann, the two of you don’t need to attack vets and grieving family members to look bad, it’s much too late for that.