21st Century Living
As winter finally winds down, there is only one word that could sum up this time of year: cold. Well, yuh think? Oh, but you misunderstand me my friends.
There are two major stereotypes people have of Canada: it’s cold and the people are very polite. But I’m only sure they’re half right. The stereotypes are in fact a bizarre paradox for someone who has grown up in Toronto. I mean sure, I’m freezing my ass off as I write this, but the people of Toronto have become as cold as its climate.
The mere act of saying ‘hello’ invokes paranoia and awkward looks. It may be understandable for the most part if they really are complete strangers, but in the mundane hustle and bustle routine of large cities we encounter many of the same faces every day. Saying ‘hello’ to those that we recognize should not be a far stretch of the imagination. But alas it is for most, whether they recognize us in return or not. In this liberal day in age we live in, whether the person is a member of the opposite sex or not, someone who goes out of their way to say ‘hello’ is either coming on to them or wants something from them. It would never occur to them that it may be simply an act of kindness.
Oh, you’re paranoid, you say, there are plenty of friendly people out there. I agree, you may be right. But it’s always the bad apples that ruin the bunch.
I was downtown the other day, standing in the middle of the sidewalk with family discussing a show we just watched, when suddenly someone over my shoulder screams, “Hey!!”
I think to myself for a moment that it’s nothing, just someone calling out to his friend. I look over my shoulder and this elderly man (who clearly is not senile) is aggressively pushing past me mumbling, “Get the hell out of the way.”
And I am completely baffled out of my wits, wondering how a human being could be so rude to another. So I say to him, “What is wrong with you??”
“See, in Canada the people walking this way walk on the right side, while the people walking the opposite way walk on the left,” he says condescendingly.
“Have you ever thought of saying excuse me?!” I exclaim.
“What the hell are you - ?” he shouts. But he hesitates for a moment, as if holding his tongue from saying something almost dangerous. He then proceeds to turn around and walk away.
He was not an Asian man, if any of you have already inferred so much. He was Caucasian, and reading between the lines it was quite obvious that he was implying that I was not from around here and didn’t deserve any respect simply because I was Asian. Mind you, I was born and raised in Toronto my entire life.
In any given major city, this experience is probably far from rare, and doesn’t even have to be a matter of race, but simply discourteous behaviour that occurs all too often. If you’ve ever seen the film Crash by Paul Haggis, this cyclical nature of anger and bitterness (which here, came out in the form of racism) running rampant like an invisible epidemic is not unique to Los Angeles. Indeed, it’s common in most, if not all, densely populated metropolitan areas. What results, are cities of miserable people who have inadvertently propagated their temperament to those all around them.
So the question is where does such bitterness originate from? It’s clear that it must be something unique to largely populated cities. One may be quick to argue that naturally large crowds get the better of everyone. While the argument has some definite merit, I believe it comes down to one key characteristic of modern society: technology.
It’s all around us and is the driving force behind any major city’s fast paced living. As things get easier with technology, living gets faster. We can get anything and contact anyone anywhere at any time. Technology has given us instant gratification. And with instant gratification comes an implacable expectation of it, because the alternative (i.e. delayed gratification) is not a habitual experience. Granted this idea is obviously not a new one, but its connection to the collective disposition of a city warrants discussion.
If there is any one aspect of technology that causes a busier and faster society, it is our mind blowing ability to communicate information to one another. The advent of cell phones, palm pilots, Blackberries, and the Internet has made the flow of information instantaneous. While the immediacy of information exchange has undoubtedly enhanced our standard of living, forced governments and corporations to be more transparent, and created more educational opportunities, they have come at a cost. Something has been lost in achieving all of these efficiencies and enhancements. Our mindset is often, ‘how can things be done better?’ ‘What can make us better?’ But I use the word ‘better’ very loosely, because we use it with a very important underlying assumption, and that is that doing ‘better’ or being ‘better’ consequently makes us happier. And happier is the operative word here. Technology is supposed to make us happier.
But I’ll bring you back to my initial thesis: most techno driven metropolitan areas are rife with miserable people.
And there my friends, lays the paradox.
Rather than the highly touted idea of technology bringing people closer together, it has pushed us further away from one another. New forms of communication, while more efficient, have prevented us from being comfortable with any regular human contact. The Internet is one of the main drivers behind this phenomenon, while being one of the main proponents of progress at the same time. The Internet has created the danger of treating others exactly as we please behind a guise of anonymity. Aside from the pedophilia and hate propaganda that exists on the information highway, the Internet has become dangerous. The reason it is dangerous is because it threatens our very humanity. Sounds extreme, I know, but hear me out.
Technology allows us the luxury to behave towards others exactly as we would without any of the confines established by our conventional forms of etiquette, and still allow us to maintain our sense of dignity. It’s an amazing deal. We can be assholes whenever we please and still convince ourselves how honourable we are as human beings. It’s like driving. When most of us enter a car, all forms of decency are thrown out the window. The greater sense of anonymity that we somehow gain makes us feel as if we cannot be judged, allowing us to be as self centred as we please. Yet, once we step out of the vehicle we are back to being the dignified and considerate people that we believe we are.
This probably all sounds obvious to many of you. We all know about the trolls on message boards, and we’ve all seen Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. But we typically observe this display of behaviour among strangers on the Internet. But I make the proposition that this behaviour is still reflected among those that we actually do know on the Internet as well. I’ll present you with an example.
Instant messaging. I’m going to add on to Melanie’s comments on this frustrating technology. It’s a program where we can manipulate our social interaction in almost a godly like manner.
Are there certain people you’d rather not talk to, but would like to hold on to them just to enhance or maintain the reach of your social circle? Are there days where you’d like to talk to your good friends, but would like to avoid talking to those that make it simply a chore? Would you like to prove your social status through an objective measurement of popularity? Would you like to get to know someone that you fear speaking to in person? Do you have something to say to someone that you are too afraid to say in person? Are there certain people that you’d like to keep in touch with and others you’d like to cut off? Well we have the perfect solution for you! Instant messaging. With a multitude of functions ranging from the “appear offline” and “away” modes to the ability to “block” other users to the ease of increasing your social network through the addition of an endless amount of “contacts,” socializing has never been so easy!
It has never been so contrived. Our social life has become merely a product of our own manipulation. Our behaviour “online” remains so ambiguous that anything we may have done “online” that would have been deemed inappropriate in person could never be construed as such.
“Oh, hey Sam how come you didn’t answer me when I messaged you?”
“Um, I don’t know, I probably wasn’t at my computer?”
“But you were showing as online.”
“Maybe I just left my computer at the time.”
“But I saw you online for at least ten minutes.”
“Fuck, I don’t know, don’t you have any other friends?!?”
But in all seriousness, no one gets into these kinds of conversations. Normally because people understand what others imply through their behaviour online. However, no ill will can ever truly be felt when you can never really know how the relationship dissipated to begin with. Such ambiguity only leads to people making assumptions about each other, and thus a degradation of communication. And the irony of it all is that technologies like instant messaging and similar modern technologies like cell phones were created to enhance communication.
So what if such technologies didn’t exist and we had to deal with all of our relationships face to face? We’d be forced to improve our ability to communicate with one another because we don’t have scapegoats such as instant messaging and cell phones to hide behind. But the fact is these technologies do exist, which brings me back to my initial argument.
How do these new forms of communication threaten our humanity?
If it continues to separate us as it is already doing, I think it’s safe to hazard a guess that people will eventually translate that type of behaviour into regular life. And I’m sure many living in large cities will agree that it certainly seems like that is the case. I concede that there are many other factors that have caused this trend as well, such as wealth and social class, and the psychological tendency to feel anonymity when in large crowds. But I still don’t think it’s a coincidence that large metropolitan areas, which usually represent the nucleus of progress and technological development, are littered with bitter, angry, and unhappy people.
My whole thesis is moot if nothing can be done about it. It is true that technology cannot be stopped. However, it is also true that neither can our humanity. It is more a question of how far will we allow technology to degrade our humanity before we as a civilization move forward spiritually again. No, the answer is not to abolish all new technologies whatsoever and live the Amish simple kind of life. It is quite the contrary. The answer is we must simply acknowledge that this is happening, and that is the purpose of this discussion.
Make a conscious effort to hold the door open for your common man, say hello to the person you see every day on your way to the bus stop, apologize when you bump into someone on the street, and say excuse me when trying to get through a group of people. Treat people with respect whether you’re face to face, on the phone, or on the Internet, be truthful and honest about your actions, and remember that anonymity does not permit us to be egocentric. No matter how anonymous we may feel, we must still answer to ourselves. We are all compassionate. We are all kind. We are all respectful. But most of all, we are all human.
Post by Andrew Chung
http://www.jadedexpressions.com